The Mark of the Chunder Monkey - (by Dave)

We are possessive creatures. We like to own, buy, claim and protect. Some choose to scribe a name, while others label with a sticker. We all know how dogs mark ownership. Fortunately our children choose a different route. They mark with incredible grace and surreptitious stealth. After discovering something they love, they calmly ram their digestive system into reverse and toss their cookies over everything they hold dear.

Let's take the big E for example. Few things bring him greater joy than the Costco Food Court. He is a giant among the beef franks, a beast among the cheesy pizza, and dominates any churro in his path. He finally returned his love last Saturday as his Costco meal had a round-trip ticket we didn't expect. Better yet, he chose to shoot his salad right behind some poor patron's shopping cart. I am sure that patron would have reacted differently if she knew our son's action was out of love and not spite. E turned away with indifference and finished his hot dog.

And yet, he learned from the best. Lils can be matched by no one. The oh-so-lucky eatery she chose to mark never saw it coming. Red Robin couldn't have ever anticipated what was about to befall them. What could she have done? Her carnal nature took over when three of the greatest things in the world collided: free balloons, chicken nuggets, and a TV embedded in the daggum floor. She chose the last great thrill and chundered all over it.

Whether you choose to label with a sharpie or with your gastroinstentinal system, the chunder-monkey children salute you and will go on marking their own way through life.