Yesterday I set a new personal record. My laptop remained unopened, in the shallow cave of my bag for 14.5 hours! Normally I wouldn't be all that excited about this accomplishment, but I have been sitting at home for the last 3 weeks in the doldrums between graduation and the arrival of our baby. I went from "maximizing shareholder value" to scraping 6 month old capn' crunch off of the wall, and I have had to find a new way to measure success.
What in the world do you do with all of that time? I have spent every second with the kids of every day. I have been hit in the head with my own golf clubs, drawn 27 pictures of Spongebob, and completely DOMINATED gumdrop forest with Lord Licorice in Candy Land. And you know what? I am one pretty pretty princess game away from falling into insanity gorge. What in the world is wrong with me?
You would think I would be STOKED with 3 weeks off with nothing to do. However, there is a title for having time off, no work, chillin' at home with the kids, and fighting urge to poke yourself in the eye with a carrot stick: Motherhood. So now I have discovered something. Taking care of the kids and keeping a house is not the hardest part. The hardest part is doing it and feeling like you actually accomplished something in life! What did I expect? My jump from business school to staying at home was like jumping from a train onto a rocking horse. Not happenin.
So, valiant husbands, be grateful for your jobs or school. Be grateful you have tests to quantify your value and projects to measure career success. Because I didn't get an "A" for catching Ebay's regurgitated chicken nugget before it hit the floor. Only now can I start to empathize when Cakes tells me she is going crazy and tries to find value in everything she does. How do I know? Two ways:
1.) Yo Gaba Gaba is starting to makes sense
2.) Ebay started cracking off a "movement" today in the corner (already naked in transition to bath mode) and I ran him to the toilet. I fought him and his toddler duty until the great deed was done and then showered him with Jelly beans. Is he potty trained? Nope. Did he sit on there himself? Nope. But how do I feel? Like I just dropped kicked Osama-Bin-Ladin and ended world hunger. Yeah, that good.
7 comments:
If only all husbands would do this experiment!
I went from college degree and job to stay about four years ago and I still have a hard time measuring "value" during the day. If you figure it out let me know. I felt pretty good when my little girl said she loved dinner tonight--that was nice. Other days you just feel like you are going nuts, seriously.
Dave, you're great! This is SO true, but so funny hearing it from your funny perspective!
CLASSIC DAVE!!! I love this. That is the very reason i take a girls weekend every year. I'm leaving for Myrtle with some friends next weekend for 4 days. My favorite part is coming home and seeing Nathan waiting to run out the door and just "take a few minutes" (or a whole night off) as soon as i get there. He always seems to love me a little more each time i get back. I appreciate what he does for us as a wonderful provider but he gets paid, gets bonuses and pats on the back and us moms get poop wiped on the wall we just painted to tell us..... well just to let us know we'll have to do it all again tommorow. ALL of it, same laundry same dishes. The monotony can drive you crazy.
And by the way CONGRATULATIONS ON FINISHING SCHOOL that is awesome!!
Wow Dave, that was AWESOME! I'm definitely sharing that with Ross when he gets home tonight. I got my laugh for the day... THANK YOU! Tell Lenore hi and good luck with the new baby/cross-country move. Let's keep in touch!
LOL!! So true!
That was a great post-very funny AND true!
Great write up Dave! You should submit it to Parenting Magazine or something- thankfully your MBA did not cancel out your wit.
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